Men’s sexual entitlement is promoting rape culture.
In South Africa, a woman is killed every 3 hours. Has rape culture become worse or has the age of social media shed light in what has been happening for centuries?..either way, I believe men’s sexual entitlement is at the root of this and this entitlement filters to other areas so let’s look at a few ways entitlement has promoted rape culture.
Distorted definition of masculinity
We cannot define masculinity without touching on what being a man is and the difference between a man and a boy. Simply put, a man has gone through the early trials of life, and at the very least has an outline for what they believe in whereas a boy is still maturing in all facets of life and therefore still discovering what they believe in. Unfortunately through this maturing process , society (mostly shaped by men) has given boys the wrong view of masculinity. Being a tough guy has nothing to do with true masculinity, true masculinity is having the confidence of being a man as well as understanding the responsibilities of being a man in a “men’s world”.
Inability to take rejection
I realized early as a boy that being male comes with a lot of privileges, naturally these privileges manifest themselves in other areas of life. Eventually it breeds superiority complex, when you view someone as inferior to you how do you then handle rejection? Inability to take rejection is a huge part of entitlement and it’s the main motives for the rampant killing and sexual assault of women. Man and boys should be taught that rejection is part of life and a “no” should be enough for you to take the cue and leave. Men’s superiority complex has rendered women’s boundaries insignificant all in the name of “chasing”. Chasing is only acceptable if she is showing interest and even then boundaries should be maintained and most importantly she sets the boundaries not you.
Lack of respect for Women
An important factor in ending the sexual entitlement that contributes to rape/violence is creating a culture of respect. Lack of respect leads to men putting their own need for satisfaction over a woman’s need for comfort, viewing sex as merely a commodity you can get results in viewing women as simply objects and when this happens there’s much less importance in consent. As much as Consent can be given, men should understand it can also removed at any given time with no need for explanations and when it is, it does not matter the situation whether alcohol is involved or whether you both fully naked, hell it doesn’t even matter if y’all are in the act already, a no is a no-no matter what and if you respect women you should respect her right to say no. Unwarranted groping and invasion of personal space are all symptoms of lack of respect for women.
Conclusion
Being a men comes with so many privileges, instead of using that privilege to boost our egos and have sexual entitlement, let’s channel that power to influence those around us (other men) to be more respectful. Let’s hold other men accountable and most importantly let’s create a safe world were women can safely give or not give their consent. I can imagine the “not all men are trash” brigade saying “it’s not us though”, well listen fuckboys, as long as women keep getting assaulted it’s an “all men” problem and if you feel like it’s only a small group of men doing this shit then all the “nice guys” out there should be outraged that a few bad apples are making the entire gender look bad. Let’s educate ourselves on sexual entitlement and let’s do better gents.